Discipline and Self Confidence

These are two very different things that correlate well together when raising your children. From stages as a child all the way up to teenage years.

I am constantly trying to find the balance when raising Benjamin and Jonna in these early years. Jonna is a handful. Let me say first, I LOVE both my children with a love that every mother knows especially when dividing between two of them. You love them equally but diffently because they are so, so different.

I have said this more than once though. Benjamin was 10 times easier to raise as a young infant and toddler. Not sure if it is the fact that he was an only child till age 2 or the fact that Jonna is a girl. But Jonna is more stubborn, spiteful, and dramatic than I ever remember Ben being. Even with her Father. It seems that she has her Daddy wrapped around her fingers. Example: Nights when he is home to put them to sleep, he sits beside her bed and reads a book while she drifts off to slumberland. She knows he will do this, and will cry when he leaves. And Jake will walk right back in there and lay beside the bed. Me, I don't have the patience. I say love you, kisses, hugs, go to sleep. Every so often I will sit beside and play with her hair for a few minutes, but that's all I can do.

Jonna is her Daddy's girl, and Benjamin is his Mama's boy! It really is kind of perfect. But don't get me wrong Ben is Jake's best friend and Jonna is my best friend. Jonna can put on make up with me and get her toes painted. Ben cuts the grass with Dad, and always is at his side when it comes to fixing things. God did really well in planning how all this Mother-Daughter, Father-Son thing works out!

They both can be challenging in their phases of life. One thing I am so focused on in raising them is letting them know how stinkin proud I am. I want them both to have self- esteem. The self-confidence to try anything and know they can be successful. We find ourselves rewarding them constantly. Whether it be verbally, or giving them an awesome jello cup for dessert when they clean their plate of peas and chicken!

Along, those same lines, I want them to be disciplined, well mannered, and respectful. I want them to be hard workers. Life didn't come easy for their Mom or Dad, and I think that makes us appreciate our accomplishments that much more.

So, question is, how do you discipline them this way and make sure they grow in self confidence at the same time? I have found there is really no easy answer to this. There is a fine line. I question myself. Am I being too harsh? Or, or am I being to easy? Am I giving the type of reinforcement to mold them into the great person that I opt them to be? I don't know. But I do know I pray a lot about it. I ask for guidance every day.

I mean, I REALLY REALLY REALLY don't want to screw my kids up. I laugh, but look at the world. I need...to have some amazing children, go out there and conquer evil! Be the Spiderman hero, that Ben says he is going to be when he grows up like Daddy! They will be faced with tragedies. I want to be able to prepare them for this. I guess, I can never FULLY prepare them for what is ahead, but I can try really hard. So, today and tomorrow I will keep trying. All anyone can ever do is know they did their best, and wait patiently for a positive outcome :). Maybe resulting in an astrounaut or air force pilot. The possibilities are endless!