Looking Back

Last night, Jake wanted me to watch this talk by a president of a university in Utah(BYU) It was recommended to him by his Dad, and he had watched it a couple weeks ago and said it was really good.

So, I did, and Man, did I get a lot out of it. One of the main ideas was about looking back into the past and trying not to dwell on it. But to focus on where you are now and your future. What a great reminder. A saying I have used often is "make today the best day you possibly can, because we no longer have yesterday, and we may not even have tomorrow" I gave a small speech in one of my business courses in college, and it's main focus was that statement. Everyone in the class was required to give speeches that day and mine was the only one that had the entire class clapping along with the teacher after I was done. I remember feeling a little "caught off guard" as I walked back to my desk. But I also felt that there was a lot of meaning to what I was saying and I relayed that to them.

So, the speech I watched last night I used it to relate to my marriage. Marriage. Marriage is not always a walk in the park. Now, that doesn't mean I would change anything in the world about it. Jake and I are headed towards our four year anniversay this month, and it has really got me thinking. We came a long way. I can't imagine doing it with any other man #1. We do have trials. I have come to believe it wouldn't be marriage otherwise. You put two people together from two completely different lives and they evolve together. But it takes time and I am the first one to say we are still growing. But even in our worst times, do I ever want to look back and take away what we have together? No. I want to make it better, the best, awesome! The only way to do that is focus on what we can make of today, and what we make of tomorrow, God willing. Fact of the matter is if we all did this in our marriage, think about how grand it would be. Not just as an individual making the day the best day ever but making it the best day ever as a husband or wife.

I will be the first to say that the "newness", excitement, and romance has dwindled quite a bit if not all since those days that we were dating. We have our moments still, but nothing like it used to be. And boy, do I miss it. But should I really focus on what once was or focus on making today the best ever. I mean really Jake and I are so blessed to have each other, Benjamin and our little Baby Holee. That in itself gives us every reason to be an award winning husband, wife and parent. We have a mature love now, that I have never experienced in my life and it is actually quite comforting. But we can only make our marriage what we want it to be, not anyone else. The speaker stressed over and over again and quite gruffly how detrimental it can be to a person in a marriage for one partner to sling the past in the other's face. And then in a revolt, the other will sling something back. It may be something from last week, last year, or even two days ago. We all know that gets us no where!

The only thing I want to be looking back on are the grandest of memories of our family. It excites me to think about having two kids, watching them grow, and then Jake and I watching our grandchildren grow. I mean really, look what we have to look forward to. Why would we strive for anything different.