My pure Honesty Post

I am always trying to stay positive and buck up as a mother, but I will be truly honest and say, sometimes I feel like I am a failure as a Mom and Wife. Why do you ask? Throw two children in there, both are sick (But both are gettin much better), a four day weekend and my hubby is there less than half of it with an average of 4 hours of sleep a night. Well, patience is worn thin, I (am) look a mess, and often I want to throw my hands up and scream. Ok, sometimes I do, either that or cry.

I constantly ask, "what the heck is wrong with me?" A million mothers do this a day, and some have more than two kids, why can't I be a better Mom and handle this like a breeze?

How much would I say I have prayed in the last 72 hours. I feel like I am asking God for strength to suck it up on the hour. But, then there are moments like these, when Jonna is sleeping in her swing, Ben is watching Elmo quietly. And we just went on a 1/2 hour walk outside in peace and quiet. Ben rode his bike and Jonna laid awake and happy in her stroller. So nice.

You ask why is it so tough? Well, when your poor baby girl has a 2 hour fit with a belly ache, and you have no idea what to do for her to make her feel better, while your two year old gets no attention and in order to get it, he throws several temper tantrums resulting in screaming, crying, or hitting. It makes it a little difficult I guess. Then, prepare yourself. You will have calm after the storm, but then four hours later, this episode may repeat itself.

Sometimes, I feel like Jake could pick up the pace at home, but then I give him props for working so much. He was so much help at home yesterday when he was here, and I even got to take a nap. But to tell you the truth, I feel like I would rather work an 8 hour day and then head home than do this day in and out. I guess I will find out when I head back to work this Thursday. Is it bad that I am looking forward to it? Do I need to get out of the house? Probably, I need to go on a three day vacation. Ha, no, not really. I know I couldn't stand to be away from my kids for that long, let alone this coming thursday, when I have to drop them off at 7am and won't be able to get to them till 5pm. Shari is probably going to be hearing from me several times that day.

I know things will get better, and this time shall pass. So, that is my venting for the day, just gotta let it out sometimes. Writing is my own little bit of therapy.

With all the chaos, I do manage to have some picture happy fun with my kids though!





Ben is watching Diego! Yes, Dora and Diego have been a huge help to me in the last few days!

Jonna is talking to me with coo's and smiles all the time now. Of course, especially after eating.

Ben likes to lay on the same blanket that Jonna is on. Just isn't right if he isn't laying right beside her.