In a bind

People have been wondering why I haven't been writing as much lately. There could be several reasons, but mostly it is all random and in a way, I would consider myself in a quarter life crisis......Ha!

I consider myself one to always try to stay positive, no matter what the situation. Usually if something upsets me I have my moment to talk my talk, and get over it, and refer to my mother's famous phrase, "It will all work out." Mind you, there is nothing really wrong in my life right now, I just feel like I am just going through the motion with things day in, day out. Do the same thing, over and over with no real excitement. Christmas is coming, but it seems to cause more rush rush to get things done, which take my mind off the true meaning of Christmas. My highlight of the day is always seeing my little man. The look on his face when I see him after work is the most heart warming feeling I could get. At that one minute, all and any problems melt off my back, and I get to breathe in my little boy. But then as soon as the evening is over, I am off to bed to realize one more day gone, and about to start another one, just as soon as my eyes are closed. I dread a new day. Why is that. I do have some sneaky suspicions, that I will go into more detail later, but now is not the time. I kind of just want to get out of this lull.

Everything is really good in my life, and in season's like these, I know there are so many that the Holidays are their roughest times. With the economy, a lot of people may even be counting their days till the end of their employment. Seriously, I want to tell myself politely to get my head out of my ****. Life is great, I have a stable job I love, a wonderful husband, a blessed little boy, a great outlying family, and a lot of good friends. So, what is my deal.

I had a nightmare the other night. Some may laugh, but I was dreaming about doing something or going somewhere with some random acquaintances, and someone in my dream told me, "OH, you can't come along, you wouldn't be able to handle this because you are too old, You are 28 right?!" And in the dream, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I am 28 years old. I have never in my life felt "old" before, but for some reason I do now. This dream may have been provoked by celebrating my little sister's 21st birthday. Seriously, I remember changing her diaper, and now she could go out and have a legal drink with me. WTH!

Last night, I even had a dream that me and my three highschool best buds all dropped everything and hightailed to VEGAS for a few days. Spur of the moment. So, I opted to let them know today by email, 30 was coming and we should plan a girls trip!

Haha, Quarter life crisis....... who would have thought.


I have been through some emotional ups and downs the last couple months, and maybe now that there is a calm...my wonderful non-stop thinking crazy woman mind is going bizerk looking for a problem. Jake would say "oh, Maria, just thinking too much again aren't ya" And I laugh to myself, because I am.

The good thing about writing posts like these is after putting my thoughts or emotions in writing, they always seem to "work out." Kind of like my subconscious mind stepping in to say, everything is just fine. Don't worry, be happy.

So, enough with my thoughts for the day. Tomorrow, I will post some baby pics of my new nephew Jackson Charles born yesterday morning, 7lbs 9oz, and 18 3/4 inches long. Healthy as ever with a head full of dark hair.