At times, I feel like I am at such a loss when it comes to disciplining Benjamin. And it is outright exhausting. Everyone has stressed to me make sure to be consistant, and that is exactly what I am doing. But I don't feel we are gaining any grounds. He is still pulling hair and hitting on a daily basis. Timeout has become me holding his hands to the wall, and making sure he faces it. He has learned that isn't fun, but I am not quite certain he connects it with the bad choice he made. I also hate doing it. I feel like a may be being too rough with him, but I really don't know what else to do. I know hitting back isn't good. I have heard spanking isn't effective till he gets older.
I praise him when he does something good, and he catches on to that very quickly. Especially, now throwing things in the trash. I just have to watch what he throws away, and make certain it is trash. He helps me pick up his toys, and loves to take a cloth or towel and get on his hands and knees and clean the floor. He helps wash dishes and scatter laundrey. Well, the laundrey thing isn't much help. HA! His favorite thing to do is use the broom. Not really much sweeping going on, but he has the most determined look on his face when he does it. Notice, the dishwashing picture in the last entry, I think the open mouth helps him do his job better. haha!
Ben is really a good boy, but he is the most spiteful child I have ever been in contact with. He knows when he does something bad, but he looks at you like, "Mom, I can't help myself." When he pulls my hair I literally have to pry it free. He does understand when he gets scolded sometimes, but not always. I try to be very attentive and patient explaining to him "WHY" he shouldn't do what he did. Not just because it is "WRONG" or "BAD."
It is very trying, and all I know is to keep doing what I am doing. So, if anyone has any more ideas please feel free to comment. Oh, and if you want give me some props if I am doing anything right! Right now, I need the uplift. I REALLY don't want my child to become a holy terror, if you know what I mean.
3 comments:
Here's the first props!! Whoop whoop!! :) (One of my friends always says that and it makes me laugh) I think you are doing a great job with Benjamin. I think that most (if not all) toddlers put you through the trying stage and you really have to figure out what kind of discipline works for them on an individual basis. You have a gentle heart, I'm not worried about you being too stern or rough with him. I think it says a lot that you are dedicated to finding a good solution, that you are really thinking through it instead of just acting on emotions/instinct. Most of all he knows that you love him, so all your praise and hard work is going to pay off!! Also sometimes I find it helpful to remember that the reason they act the way they do sometimes is because they are still learning about people/emotions/behavior. It doesn't matter how good your child is, they are not going to act like a perfect angel 100% of the time, because that is part of the process of growing up!! My goodness, I don't know why I wrote such a long answer. Especially since I find myself asking the same question as you are!!
P.S. This is really Becca. I just realized that Luke checked his email on my laptop so it is still logged in under his name.
First off, I was so intrigued when I read "Luke's" comment first. I was so surprised to hear all of this coming from him. Not often you hear your brother in law say you have a "gentle heart" Haha!
Thanks Becca! I am sticking to my guns. Last night he didn't hit or pull hair once at home, so we shall see. Not saying he didn't throw any fits, because that seems like a nightly occurrence. I feel he may be needing more sleep, so I am going to concentrate on that here in the next few days. Which includes crying it out in the middle of night and even the early, early mornings. So wish me luck!
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